I have lots of questions....need help.

[jharmon99]

My daughter is bi-racial and doing her hair has been such a challenge to me. He hair is way different than mine. She is 17, but she has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair. I do everything for her since she is not able to do anything for herself. Most of her young childhood I put her hair in a ponytail. Sometimes I would try to straighten it with heat or it would just be poofy. Overall, I was not at all satisfied with the way I did her hair. I just knew that I was doing it all wrong. As she got older the very back of her became a real problem. When she sits in her wheelchair her head is always leaned back against her headrest and as a result it breaks off. She has a lot of uncontrolled movement so it adds to the friction between the back of her head and the headrest. She also lays flat on her back at night when she sleeps so again there is friction between her head and the pillow. For awhile we kept this part of her head cut close to the scalp as it wasn't visible much anyway, but it takes a lot of frequent trims to do that.

In my frustration I sought out someone I thought could tell me what to do with her hair and they talked me into relaxer. I've never felt right about doing that to her hair and it is such a job to get it done. I have to remove the headrest from her chair and try to hold her head still while the stylist puts the relaxer on, then she is not able to tell us right away if it starts to burn. I then have to lift her out of her chair and into the chair by the sink and try to hold her there while the rinse it out and all that. We've been doing relaxers off and on for about 4 years, but haven't had one in several months.

I was so excited when I came across CURLS. I ordered a sample kit of the Curly Q stuff and when it was empty I ordered full sizes. I have home health aides that come 2 times a week to help me bath her so she is in the tub exactly 2 times a week...no more no less. I have had them use the cleansing cream and coconut sublime conditioner one day and on the other day I have them just put the conditioner in and rinse it. When her hair is wet these times I use the quenched curls and the milkshake. I have been just letting it air dry and leaving it down.

She has about 2-3 inches of new growth now. He hair is fine, but very curly, almost kinky curly. I just don't feel like I am doing it justice. She is a beautiful girl and despite her cerebral palsy is very social. I have tried to keep her appearance up for this reason. I am so frustrated that I am almost ready to give up and take her back for relaxer, but I DON'T want to. Maybe I need a different routine and need to try some of the other products. I am very open to any and all suggestions as I am sure you can tell I am desperate.

[mdellinger]

first of all, i commend you for being such a dedicated mother during the hardest of times. Your care and love for your angel transcends your post.

i do, recommend that you lay off of the relaxers...for obivious reasons. the damaging chemicals are wrecking havoc on her hair.

i would love to help you through this transition. maybe you can post a few photos of her hair and tell me exactly what your challenges are and i will send you a few suggestions.

[jharmon99]

I will do that. It will probably take me a few days to get that accomplished. I am looking forward to your suggestions. Thank you!

[jharmon99]

Front shot, just to show how her hair lays.



Side shot trying to show where the new growth is and the difference between it and the relaxed hair.



I removed the wheelchair headrest so I could get a good shot of the back of her head. To show how much shorter it is and how it stays matted since its always against something. I can get a comb through it without too mcuh trouble. I do have to remove the headrest to do it or comb it while she is lying on her side.

[jharmon99]

Two more pics as I couldn't fit them all in one post.

[jharmon99]

I always wondered if I need to put a cap of some sort on her head at night to help with the back. Not sure it would stay on, but maybe. Also the back has trouble drying after her hair is washed or rinsed because its against the headrest. I'm wondering if I need one of those quick dry towels.

I am very excited to learn some new things. I could use some tips on styling as well. I'm almost out of product so I am ready to order whatever we need.

[soblessed]

Thanks for presenting pics of your daughter's hair. As, that really helps alot for us to see how her hair is currently. If your daughter's hair takes a lot of time drying, then ordering one of the Mimi's Dryer Towels would be a plus.

Now, the only difference betwen the Mimi Dryer Towel and Turban is that the Turban has a button on it that allows the towel to be wrapped and secured on the head. As, this minimizes risk of it coming a loose while the hair is drying underneath it.

I would suggest you trying either the Curls Whipped Cream or Souffle on her hair as a styling product. Or if, you would like to stay with the CurlyQ line, you can try using the CurlyQ Custard on her hair as a styler instead. Now, it is certainly okay for you to continue using the Cleansing Cream on your daughter's hair. However, I feel that your daughter's damaged locks would benefit most from the Curls Asian Hair Tea Conditioner instead of the Coconut Sublime. As, the Curls Asian Hair Tea Conditioner is a deeper conditioner and it really will help to strengthen and repair your daughter's hair greatly.

Allso, here's an added tip: If you can try securing a satin pillowcase or satin scarf around the back of her headrest. So that way, when she lays back, the satin would act as protection between her hair and the headrest.


BTW.....Your daughter is a beautiful girl and I thank you so much for sharing her pics with us.

[jharmon99]

Thank you for the recommendation on the conditioner. I was plannning on buying the coconut sublime again, but I will get the other. It makes sense that her hair would need deeper conditioning right now. Can it be used like the other conditioner...put in, let sit a few minutes and rinse out? The home health aides usually wash her hair and then put the conditioner in and let it sit while they wash the rest of her and then they rinse it out. Do you think that would be sufficient or should I try something else?

I am going to also get somthing to cover the back of her headrest. I have contemplated that before and never did to it, but I will now. That is a great suggestion. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to have her sleep on a satin pillow case too.

And you said to try the Curls Souffle or Whipped Cream. Does it look like her hair needs a stronger hold. Is that what those pruducts will provide? Do I use that instead of the Milkshake?

Sorry for so many questions. I have been intently studying all of the prducts. I am committed to loving my daughter's hair.

Oh and I've been looking at different styling tips. Do you think twists and twists out would be good for her hair?

Thanks again!

[soblessed]

Originally Posted by jharmon99

Thank you for the recommendation on the conditioner. I was plannning on buying the coconut sublime again, but I will get the other. It makes sense that her hair would need deeper conditioning right now. Can it be used like the other conditioner...put in, let sit a few minutes and rinse out? The home health aides usually wash her hair and then put the conditioner in and let it sit while they wash the rest of her and then they rinse it out. Do you think that would be sufficient or should I try something else?

I am going to also get somthing to cover the back of her headrest. I have contemplated that before and never did to it, but I will now. That is a great suggestion. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to have her sleep on a satin pillow case too.

And you said to try the Curls Souffle or Whipped Cream. Does it look like her hair needs a stronger hold. Is that what those pruducts will provide? Do I use that instead of the Milkshake?

Sorry for so many questions. I have been intently studying all of the prducts. I am committed to loving my daughter's hair.

Oh and I've been looking at different styling tips. Do you think twists and twists out would be good for her hair?

Thanks again!

With the Curls Asian Hair Tea Conditioner, you would have the home health aides put a generous amount of it all over your daughter's hair. Next, have them to comb it through with a wide toothed comb, for even distribution. After that, you would have them to cover her head with a clear plastic cap and let the deep conditioner stay in her head for at least 20 minutes. And, after the 20 minutes are up, then the home health aides can rinse the conditioner out.

Yes, if yo can try to get her to sleep with a satin bonnet on her head that would be great. But, if she doesn't care to do so then that would be okay too. If the satin bonnet is a "no-go", then I would suggest her sleeping on a satin pillowcase instead. As, this would be even better for her hair.

I suggested you buying either the Curls Souffle/Whipped Cream or even both, because they will infuse deeper amounts of hydration than any of the other Curls stylers. And, at this point, the hydration level of your daughter needs to be upped as best as it can.

The Curl Souffle gives a soft-to-light hold and it has a lot of deeply hydrating ingredients in it like shea butter, palm oil, and sunflower oil. And, it is slightly denser than the Curls Milkshake.

The Whipped Cream is the most dense styling cream Curls makes. It gives medium hold. And, it is made up of such ingredients as sunflower oil, cocoa butter, shea butter, and coconut oil.

Now, it is certainly okay for you to switch back and forth between the Curls Milkshake and the other stylers mentioned. As, I don't want you to stop using the Milkshake, if you still have some of it left at home.

And, yes, I certainly think that having your daughter's hair put in twists and doing twist outs would be okay to do.